My dear Nameless,
I know I have said this to you before and I know you think I’m being a tad melodramatic but it is true. The working world is a gigantic glorified playground where I spend a large part of my day soothing infantile tantrums.
What do I do?
I am a Sales & Marketing executive for an Internet Service Provider. We specialize in creating bespoke networking solutions for businesses. My job is to see an opportunity in a prospective company, take that info to the nerds in my office and together create a super technical solution that I’ll then have to convince the customer is the absolute tool of efficiency which will double, nay, treble their turnover. Luckily for me, this is actually true and I can cruise through my sales pitch with a clear conscience, content in the knowledge of the superiority of our product.
And up until that point, I am a dignified professional, efficient and skilled in my field. However, once the customer has signed the contract, I am reduced to being a nanny a.k.a Account Manager. Seriously, the first couple of weeks are fraught with teething problems and what sounds like colic induced wailing from the I.T Manager -screaming blind that we did not deliver contracted capacity. To which I them I am dispatched, pacifier in one hand and utilization graphs in the other.
Once there, we spend a good hour or two playing with crayons, drawing picture diagrams of the flow data and funnel illustrations of bandwidth.
Now you might argue that adults in a professional setting couldn’t possibly be compared to children on a playground.
“Surely not!” you say.
Well actually- yes they can. I walk into a client’s office fortified with the explanation for the “inconsistent service received lately”- ready to explain the fundamentals of internet use & bandwidth- when I am rather plainly told that they don’t care! They just want it to work! They refuse to be reasoned with and will not take recommendation.
“Drink up the medicine darling, it will make you feel better.”
“But I don’t want to! It’s yucky!!”