It starts with madness, of course, it does. A sort of fidgeting of the soul. A restlessness. You begin by plotting your own career downfall from corporate superstar on the rise to wandering hipster sleeping on a warmed wooden floor in a Jjimjilbang (Korean public bathhouse), drinking Soju and eating pig’s ears.
It is completely unreasonable. Why would anyone want to leave a sometimes racist, definitely sexist working environment with limited growth prospects and little appreciation for extra work & effort you put in?
It’s absurd! It is job security in a marketplace where the unemployment rate is over 70%. And sure, you work hard and toll and then some more but whoever taught you to expect anything else from life. Life is hard! It’s meant to be hard. “By the sweat of your brow,’ he said.
But the fidgeting persists. Your heart is caught in a twist. It literally gets hard to breathe, constantly suffocated by words unspoken. Constantly weighed down by the burden that is ambition. By the dream that you could one day be more. Could be free…
Like a caterpillar finally blossoming into the butterfly it always was on the inside.
To become the truest expression of myself.